In 2010 I left the best job I have ever had – among the Sami people in the neighboring district to where I was born in the South of Sapmi in a part of the world better known as Scandinavia. In the fall the same year I entered the University of Uppsala to take a PhD degree, something I had dreamed about for a long time. I also entered another world, a world of hostility to everything I am. In January 2015 I left that hostile world. I was broken but I had survived. But I was not the same. I had gained something very important, I had gained an understanding and a language for what was wrong with me and where the pain I felt came from. I was in my existence in discrepancy with the world I existed in and I was not alone. We are many who because of our ontologies and epistemologies drop out from the colonial education system. If I had been a little better of You would have been able to read my dissertation. It is right here, in the hard drive of this PC, unpublished. But I cant offer you that. Instead I can offer you this blog about you and I the world, about how the fundamental base of our existence – our ontologies and epistemologies shape us, and constitute differences between us. I try to figure out if this has to lead us to a constant state of war or if there are ways to live together in respect for each other and in peace. Do I have to go back to the place where I had my best job ever and stay marginalized or is it possible to live right here, in the capital of Sweden where very few are familiar with the concepts that I see as tools for healing myself and understand others.